Board Thread:Moderation Desk/@comment-5722194-20150903095921

I’d like to chime in here since my personal character is being called to account regarding the Moon Guard Wiki. I’d like to chime in here since my personal character is being called to account regarding the Moon Guard Wiki.

I made a lengthy Apology on the Moon Guard Forums for my conduct in managing the Moon Guard Wiki. There I admitted to and apologized for making several bad decisions in my history as the wiki’s chief administrator, establishing policies and taking actions that were blatantly against the will of the appointed administrators that I appointed over the course of the wiki’s existence. The wiki was my first attempt at creating a fan site in my life, and I’ve learned how to conduct myself through trial and error - regrettably burning bridges along the way with my actions. I’ve tried to make amends where I could, but sometimes you can’t fix what you’ve broken. I’m always willing to discuss things that I’ve done in the past and if there is any reasonable way I can compensate, I will be happy to work with those I’ve wronged to make things right.

Despite my screw ups, I’d like to think that I made more good decisions than bad. I’ve spent months if not years of my life working with anyone and everyone that wanted to have their stories recorded for others to read. Together with the people I connected with, we designed the core structure of the wiki and fleshed it out with an amazing amount of content specifically geared to Moon Guard. The wiki would not exist without the users that make up the wiki and the players of Moon Guard server who’ve supported it over the years. I didn’t found it for myself like many people claim, but for the simple purpose of providing a neat resource that players on Moon Guard could connect with one another to write cool stories and archive them for future readers.

I’m not perfect. I’m a human being with emotions and aspirations. I’ve had several very bad days and experiences that pushed me over the edge to do things that I now regret. I try not to take criticisms personally, but the recent events surrounding Stromheart and the policy changes that followed pushed me to tears many times over. Several individuals on both sides of the “argument” of whether to hold people accountable lambasted me on Skype, Tumblr, and in-game with furious arguments and insults and demands. I was and am still being publicly called a coward, unintelligent, weak, a dictator, a silencer of free speech, scum, trash, dishonest, corrupt, biased, disingenuous, a racist enabler, a rape apologist, a racist, a sexist, all amongst several other horrible things that I would never consider myself to be. I didn’t sleep for three days straight out of self-loathing and anguish, and the thought of taking my own life crossed my head. I lost my bearing and collapsed under this pressure when I should have taken a stand.

Then I realized that the Moon Guard Wiki was something that many people still use and that I had a responsibility to make it a better place for them. I didn’t want to give up and forever be known as the things that people said I was. I picked myself up and took that stand against offensive conduct as I should have, hardening myself against the many calls to let things be and to eschew the individuals who left the wiki. I offered Berenal co-leadership of the wiki not to “keep me in check” as if I was some unrestrained animal, but to work together as his partner in making things right and just for all users of the wiki.

I want the Moon Guard Wiki to be a safe place for people to interact with each other and post cool stories while avoiding establishing “server canon.” I want it to be known for holding people accountable when they promote blatantly sexist or racist ideas. But ultimately, I want it to be an excellent resource for the players of Moon Guard server. 