Crashburn Inc

Crashburn Inc., formerly the Crashburn Cartel, is a primarily goblin organization that seeks to eck out a profit in the markets of the New Horde.

A goblin looked out across the sludge-mired pits and the moldering piles of garbage in the Orgrimmar Slums, the crackling electrical surge of a malfunctioning tesla coil reflected in his comically enormous, bright red goggles. He licked his yellow teeth nervously, gazing at a fanciful but severely tarnished and dingy high-backed chair, its back turned to him.

"So," grumbled a lazy voice from the chair, "Who's this gob?"

The bespectacled goblin stood at attention immediately, performing an over-dramatic salute and nearly knocking himself backward into a passing cart of explosives.

"Sprikfazzle Nozzlespark, sir! Explosives expert, demolitionist extraordinaire, dashingly signifi--"

His exuberant introduction was cut short as an explosion occurred overhead. A high pitched scream split their ears as a goblin clutching a rocket for dear life soared by, nearly colliding with Sprikfazzle. Somewhere in the distance they could hear a crash, the sound of screaming pigs, the shout of guards, and then silence.

"Blah, blah, blah" drawled the lazy voice. Slowly, the chair began to spin around. Sitting upon it was an extremely decadent-looking goblin clad in exquisite clothing (which seemingly hadn't been washed in years), wearing a dirt-caked monocle and dusty top hat. "What d'ya want?"

"Well, I, uh... I heard you was... Well, that is, they're sayin' you're the... THE... the GOBfather...

The Gobfather cracked his knuckles loudly and grinned an obscene grin. "So you're lookin' for employment in the Crashburn Cartel. Yeah, I'm him alright; Razdrik Crashburn. What makes you think you're good enough?"

Just then, a goblin in a sapper's outfit came bounding over to the pair, carrying a large whipped cream pie. "BOSS, BOSS," he wheezed, "I GOT YOUR BOMB PIES--" just as he tripped and fell over an impractically large lugnut.

When the smoke cleared and goblin bits stopped raining from the sky, Razdrik turned to Sprikfazzle, sucking his teeth irritably.

"Well," he said, "We've got an opening in the Sapper department."

OOC Information
The Crashburn Cartel is a Goblin themed Heavy RP(sometimes PvP)guild. Our goal is to provide a suitably humorous and eccentric environment for those wishing to roleplay a goblin. We accept non-goblins on a limited basis. Our guild can best be described as a mix between a crime family, a corporation, a crew of pirates, a circus, and the gremlins from the movie Gremlins.

Our goals are to:


 * Simulate a completely player driven goblin Cartel


 * Make profit


 * Have fun


 * Blow things up

Things you should know about us:


 * We were one of the first goblin RP guilds on Moon Guard


 * We have a fairly large and active player base


 * Butt loads of RP events.

Interested in joining? Want to know more? WELL DO YA? Take a look at our forum and read the 'Guild Info' section. crashburncartel.proboards.com

Once you are familiar with our rules, feel free to message one of our officers and ask for an IC interview! (Razdrik, Quixxle, Zado, Wazblik, or Grazik).